


Espresso

by R48



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9130717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R48/pseuds/R48
Summary: A top student at the University, Subaki finds himself struggling with his junior level photography class. He meets Niles, a local photographer one night at the local cafe and his life has been far from perfect ever since then.Modern AU set in the same world as Cursive.





	1. Prologue

Espresso

 

_\-- Prologue --_

 

There were two long couches meant for large groups to sit and chat by the fireplace. They were comfortable and the cushions so spongy that it was impossible to get up without using the arm rests. The electric fireplace connected to the ceiling crackled with fire, illuminating the cafe with a warm orange light. Five other tables were placed sporadically around the fireplace made of dark stained wood with four-legged chairs to match. There was a loveseat that faced the window he had never cared for.

When Subaki first entered the cafe after his classes, a cluster of customers were already gathered in front of the till. Mostly workers casually spending their break waiting for coffee, it left the tables empty and he was free to choose where he would sit for the next few hours.

Today, he did not want to start working immediately. He felt a sense of gratitude for the long line.

Eventually, with drink in hand, he settled into the most isolated corner of the cafe. He piled his things onto the table and proceeded to unpack his bag. The spot he chose was hidden from patrons entering the cafe and just barely lit by the fireplace. He chose this, not for just the isolation, but because it was nearest one of the sparsely available outlets. He imagined most employees probably took their break here. Trying to settle in, he removed his laptop, notebook, and pencil from his bag and seated himself wedged into the corner, his arm pressing into the wall beside him.

Opening the laptop and inputting his password, the screen lit the display for his current project. He did not want to look at it. Subaki slipped the pencil between his fingers, his thumb casually running over the ridges on the side. His fingers, long and slender glided effortlessly over the keyboard, opening tabs for music, news, and emails.

Over the speaker system, a low pulsating beat painted the cafe with a modern upbeat sound. He did not care for the music they played usually. Only in the night did one of the employees play music he actually enjoyed. The employee was a serious looking soft-spoken boy Subaki would typically greet whenever he entered the cafe. He had the most delicate handwriting Subaki had ever seen. The first time he had come into the cafe, the boy had quietly asked for his name and written it so beautifully on his cup that he saved a picture of it on his phone.

It was much later that he realized this same boy was the one that filled the cafe with the lovely music one would only be able to hear if they stayed until closing. He thought of one day asking for his playlist but the boy looked so dearly meek he thought he would begin to cry behind the counter had he ever tried to start a conversation. He had noticed since the fall however, that the boy was frequently visited by another, broad shouldered and lively, and their interactions so pure he felt like he was intruding just by being in their presence.

The employee that made his drink was not that boy but the one Subaki knew to be the boss’ son if not because of his tall height but in the similar fashion they brew their coffee.

When he entered the cafe, the sun had been high and after filtering through his emails, lukewarm replies pertaining to group projects and meetings, he had sufficiently wasted an hour of his time. A lingering winter had shorten the days so that the sun was already low in the sky and hidden behind plentiful clouds. He had put his phone away earlier on the table, flipping it so that the back cover faced up and the flashing notification light would not distract him. He picked it up finally to reply, again with lukewarm affection. _I’m studying, what are you doing? I’ll see you tomorrow._ And _let’s grab coffee next week._

But enough time had been wasted and with a deep sigh he turned back to his laptop and switched tabs to his current assignment. As a fifth year, having taken a year off to partake in an internship, Subaki was near completing his bachelor of architectural studies. The internship had come as a recommendation from one of the top professors in the University who particularly enjoyed having him in her class. He was not too vocal during lectures, but he was punctual, focused, and tactfully used office hours bringing prepared questions. Even the advisors enjoyed him, his assignments were organized and famously easy to mark. As a student, he was flawless and adored by his classmates and professors.

When he finished his internship, the employer had already offered him a job after graduation. The return to classes was supposed to be an easy transition. He was in his final semester and all his courses were options or research that had carried over from the previous fall. It left his days flexible enough to work a part time job at a flower shop near his home.

He was clever and so severely hardworking that he kept his struggles with the junior level photography class a secret. Just the mere thought of this supposed GPA booster was headache inducing. It was humiliating. At times he wanted to drop the course if not for the professor.

He was a short man with thick fingers and a pot belly. His nose was too large for his face and his lips were thin and always chapped. His lectures seemed to drag on and on but his eyes, Subaki thought, his eyes were remarkable. What he saw through the lens, what he captured on film, each a jewel on its own but together they created a work of art that weaved a story that could be felt through the heart. But he was also critical and demanding and so very severe that his classmates had vehemently warned him against taking the class. But he had not believed him and was here now besides himself with grief.

After presenting a draft of his latest set of photographs he watched the professor's face twist in a rather ugly manner as he attempted to find the words to critique his work. His eyes narrowed causing his already large nose to seem larger and he combed through the images like none had caught his eye. “It’s too perfect,” he had said and Subaki with genuine disbelief stared at him with his mouth slightly open before recognizing his rudeness and collecting himself enough to ask how anything could be too perfect. And the reply he was given was, “it is just too perfect in a way that does not move my heart.” Then he had left that small, cramped office in a daze until he wound up here at the cafe, on one hand with a great loathing of how his work had been disregarded and on the other, a great adoration for this ugly man with the remarkable eyes.

Subaki scrolled through the images. Each had been meticulously taken with permission from his boss during a quiet hour of his shift at the flower shop. Each petal he had arranged carefully and sprayed with water before the shot then selected from multiple images. Afterwards, they were adjusted using an image editing software he had used previously in his design classes. Should not his effort at least moved him?

He drank from his cup, tasting on his tongue the bitterness of the brew, welcoming it down his throat. He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, staring intently at his pictures, attempting to find just what made each so perfect and what too much so. The process infuriated him and with the warmth emitted from the fireplace and coffee, he removed his outer jacket so that he was clothed in only a thin turtleneck shirt. It was Spring but the weather clung so dearly to the cold that he had worn gloves and a scarf the day before.

Doubt had begun to plague him. “Should I start the whole thing over?” He murmured to himself. It was the final project of the semester and he had enough time to scrap the entire album. But if he made the same mistakes, the entire process would have been pointless.

As a new wave of customers came into the cafe, it signaled to him the end of the hour and Subaki had grown hungry. He rose quickly, taking his phone and wallet with him and left his isolated corner seat to queue up for a refill of his coffee and a pastry to eat. Really, he just needed time away from his computer. Subaki pressed his temples with his fingers, his gaze lifting to supervise his belongings and falling back to his phone as he waited idle in the line up.

Within several minutes he had received his order. The cafe had recently begun incorporating a wide variety of pastries alongside their drink menu much to the delight of customers. The owner was rumoured to be in the early stages of renovating a new, larger location to accommodate the growing demand of customers.

Subaki ate once back at his table, not yet ready to continue with his work. From the mass of faces and bodies in the queue he picked out the figure of a familiar regular. He appeared to be in his early forties, handsome with an air surrounding him as if he knew he was so. Pertaining to the cold, he wore heavy brown boots while the rest of him was covered in black. A navy scarf draped around his neck, so large it covered his shoulders. For months, this man had stopped by the cafe and each time as if on queue Subaki would look up from whatever he was working on at the time to see him coming from the door.

Hidden in his little corner, he fixedly stared at the man waiting for his order by the pick up window. And for the first time, he realized the man wore an eyepatch over his right eye. Did he want to know him? No, he held no such complex thoughts. To him, he was another regular at his favourite cafe. Without warning, the man turned and stared right back at him, the action so shocking to him that he was paralyzed for a brief moment before scrambling to grab something, anything to make it seem as though he had not been staring.

He did not dare look up for fear of meeting the eye of the man again. So stunned, he had not even acknowledged the colour. Subaki closed his eyes. The man would leave, he thought. And I would never look at him again. But this comforting idea soon left him. However heavy his boots were, the man walked so silently Subaki did not realize he approached his table until he saw the tips of those brown boots in front of him. Still, he did not raise his eyes. He felt the weight of the man settle into the chair next to him and his body became rigid.

The man only sipped his drink. He did not take out his phone or have a book with him but rested a large unopened bag on the table in front of him. Daringly, he stole a glance at the man, seeing his shoulders turned towards him but instead of meeting his gaze, the man was staring at his laptop. What surprised him was the blatant way he looked at Subaki’s work. Subaki’s fingers hovered over his track pad and he looked at the name on the drink, rather deliberately and inconspicuously hoping the man would reflect on to his own rudeness.

The man’s name was Niles and he decided that this Niles was an extremely rude human being.

There was no indication that this man would leave and his stare left him feeling completely exposed. As it was, he had no intention of letting this man do whatever he pleased.

“Are you interested in my pictures, Niles?” Subaki smiled his most practiced smile.

Niles, who was still been rudely staring at his laptop jerked upwards at Subaki’s voice. His neck inclined, exposing the angular cut of his jaw and he held his gaze, wordlessly staring at Subaki. Blue. His eye was blue. He turned back to his cup, dipping it so he could see his name written rather messily on the side then back at Subaki with an unapologetic shrug.

“How to put it,” Niles began and his voice was smooth and careless. “They’re so completely inorganic I don’t know what to say.”

“Inorganic,” Subaki repeated, frowning slightly. “You’re mistaken, these flowers are real.”

A finger wavering vaguely between the images in the folder and Niles said, “yeah, I got that. I meant they looked so artificial you shouldn't have bothered.”

Subaki, who had his head resting in his hand faltered into a motionless stare at Niles. The words were said so offhandedly yet they cut straight to his heart that he found himself frightened. It was not so much that this stranger had so simply put what he had struggled with all day. It was his complete acceptance of the words said to him and how stupid it made him seem. He found himself agreeing with him undoubtedly. What he did not understand was whether they were done out of kindness or malice.

The latter was easier to believe.

“You a photography major?” Niles said and he raised a brow with a lopsided grin as if to say, _with work like this_. And any shred of kindness Subaki would have ever assumed Niles to be capable of disappeared into something much more cold and intolerable, just shy of hatred.

“Architectural studies,” Subaki said with a hiss. He thought of closing his laptop and leaving the cafe. He thought too of explaining how this class was an option, one of many that he could’ve chosen to take but even in his head it sounded desperate and pathetic. Instead he said, “Are you a critic or something? Just my luck to run into someone as pretentious as you.”

“Lucky for you you met me before submitting these shit pictures,” said Niles plainly. He said nothing for a moment, watching as the queue diminished in front of them. He held his cup loosely in his hand and his ankle rested on his knee in an almost exaggerated depiction of ease. “By the way, I’m not a critic. I’m a photographer.”

“That’s quite an unbelievable lie to tell a stranger,” Subaki scoffed. “What are you hoping to achieve saying something like that?”

Niles mocked offense. “I didn’t lie at all. You’ve just met me and you already assume the worst. Makes me regret sitting here.”

Lies. Nothing honest would come from this man's mouth.

“Why are you here?” Subaki whispered angrily. He looked around the cafe that had settled with a quietness that came with the night. “You could’ve sat anywhere else yet you chose here.”

“You were the one who was staring at me.” And when Niles saw that Subaki could say nothing to deny the fact he began to unclasp the buckle of his bag, pulling out a laptop of his own. “I can show you my work if you don’t believe me.”

He did not believe him. But then again, he could not imagine Niles working comfortably in an office. He waited for Niles to open his laptop and he did so in a remarkably slow pace. Niles’ fingers brushed over the surface of the lid, his thumb teased the edge threatening to lift it. It raised by a fraction and stopped. Then Niles goaded Subaki with a teasing look. His eye narrowed and hidden crinkles bloomed at the corner. “Well well well, you are interested.”

Subaki almost laughed out loud. “You criticize my work and offer to show your own only to hold back at the last moment. If anything, this conversation has been a complete waste of my time.” He said sharply. “Next time don’t bother coming over here.”

Niles let out a low laugh and opened his laptop. Fiddling with the folders he opened a gallery of images. Photographs in black and white, men and women in the nude. Each image, one after another posed so sensually that he felt as if each couple were lovers and each individual shot a lover of his own. Subaki was stunned. A man holding a woman. Her back exposed with his lips touching her shoulder. A woman caressing the collarbone of another. A man by himself, gazing into the camera, at Niles, so intently Subaki flushed a deep crimson. He had gone through the entire album and began working backwards, image after image, something new and beautiful to admire each time.

“Do you like them?” Niles pressed so closely to him that Subaki’s arm was in his chest. His voice soothed like honey coating venomous pride. It would not matter to Niles what Subaki answered. His unconditional love for his work was so pure Subaki could not answer out of malice but honestly because he too, loved these pictures and he said so. He stopped at a women, naked and pregnant gazing at the camera. She was barely smiling, the corner of her lips raised slightly. Then he said, “they are perfect.”

“The men? The women?”

“Both. All.”

“Her especially?”

Subaki nodded. “And him.” He pointed to a light hair man with clear eyes obscuring half his face with his hand and a playful smirk on his lips.

Niles nodded thoughtfully. “I have others if you would like to see.”

“You would show me?” He felt like he was floating.

“I want to show you my best,” said Niles. Then he snaked his arm around Subaki’s shoulders and with a murmur in his ear he said, “They’re back at my place. Care to visit?”

Instantly, he became the intolerable man with the striking blue eye.

“Are you kidding me?” Coldly, Subaki shook Niles’ arm away from him. He glared at him. Red clashing with blue.

"Absolutely not." His hand slid under the table, finding Subaki’s knee. It did not rest, stroking his thigh. And with every touch he was left with, it felt like his anger left with it. Each stroke took his restraint and fed him desire and an eagerness that appalled him.

“Do not touch me,” said Subaki. “Stop touching me.” Yet when Niles did he was left with only enough consciousness to stop his hand from grasping onto Niles’ fingers and placing them where the heat had begun to consume him, begging for more. Then he was left with gasping breaths and his eyes found Niles watching him with half mast lids, the cup in his hand, acting like nothing had passed between them.

“You don’t want to? So then what? You go home and take care of it yourself in the bathroom while thinking of me?” And to this, Subaki flushed so madly Niles continued. “I’m here now and I want you.”

Niles’ hand snaked under the table again. But to his surprise, he reached for Subaki’s hand and it was not warm but hot, scorching him. Burning his skin and running up his veins until they reached his heart and he thought of nothing but grabbing a fistful of white hair and stripping Niles to explore every inch and crevice of his body and leaving him as exposed as how his words had left him.

Or so Subaki allowed himself to believe. He had been staring straight forward and only when his vision was no longer clouded by the winds Niles swept him away with did he come to find the cafe was almost empty and the music that played was that of which he had always loved. And Niles had seen too that the cafe was about to close and the night was still long and neither he or Subaki was satisfied.

One final coax. “It’ll feel a lot better with me,” was what Niles said to him.

Subaki looked away from him.

He was so tempted by the pictures, it always came back to the pictures. The pictures that he loved and the music he loved and the flame in his eye amidst the ice and the hands. The hands of this intolerable stranger that had now found their way underneath his clothing. And he muffled the soft moans and shameless voice of pleasure into his sleeve.

He was afraid.

He desired him.

Niles. He wanted Niles.

He wanted the hands that have captured those images to touch him. He wanted to be seen in that perfection. Make it painful. Make it painless. Do not leave me here, grasping for it like the light between my fingers.

Subaki closed his eyes.

Make it effortless and I’ll be with you. Capture me in that beauty and I’ll be yours. Make me perfect and I will never leave you. Let me be perfect and let you be the one to find it. But the words caught in his throat and his neck yearned towards Niles like a flower to the sun and he thought nothing of it for it had been too long, far too long since he had been touched, since he had wanted another. And he told himself that this would be tonight and tonight only and that this was not love and that he should expect nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this much quicker than I expected. This was a ship from C support and I was so surprised to find only 14 works for it on ao3 (now 15 haha). I am very excited to write characters that interact much differently from Shiro and Siegbert. If you ever want to talk, you can find me on tumblr: r48j72kd. Whether it's about Fire Emblem, anime, games, manga, BL, writing, I'd love to talk to you ^.^
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story! Updates should be at least biweekly.
> 
> See you in the new year =]
> 
> UPDATE: Chapter One delayed to January 21, 2017 - adjusting to school and other personal changes T.T  
> UPDATE2: Chapter One rough draft is completed. Editing process is underway. The rough is 16 pages which means the final version will be about 20. I'm working as hard as I can. Will definitely finish by the end of the month. Apologies again T.T"  
> UPDATE3: 2017 has been really rough for me and I just like I'm in the right mindset to write. This story will go on hiatus until I feel better. Super apologies.


	2. Chapter One

Espresso

_\-- Chapter One --_

  
It had been weeks. Weeks and the weather had not warmed, his pictures had not been approved, and since he had first slept with Niles. Subaki had counted the days not in hours or sunsets but in steps taken leading to and from Niles’ apartment. The lingering frigid temperature cemented walkways in a glistening layer of ice. Subaki walked quickly, digging his heels into the sidewalk as he made his way to the cafe contemplating his current situation.

Around boisterous laughter and voices thick with liquor, he would often hear stories of casual sex and laugh and shake his head, violently declining such an adventure. Even now, this would not change. Not out of embarrassment or guilt but in fear of damaging a reputation carefully cultivated through years of discipline. This was all so unlike him.

However, there was no denying how good it was with Niles. The soreness in his back served as an inconvenient reminder each night as he walked back to his apartment. Subaki knew it would be nonsensical to compare Niles with the others he had been with. Niles was so unlike previous lovers. There was nothing resembling love, only a passion built upon bettering the other through pleasure. More, he seemed to like this better.

His heel hit the pavement harshly. He was at the mercy of Niles` desires. If one of them were to end it, it would not be himself . This lack of control frightened him. He feared too, how his body walked mechanically to the cafe each night, ordered, sat, and waited just as how he had done tonight. He took a sip from his cup and shut his eyes.

“You’ve been coming here everyday lately.”

Abruptly, Subaki looked up, his eyes meeting a face sweetly framed by curled blond hair.

Siegbert. Thank goodness for the name tag.

“I like the coffee here,” Subaki said. He spoke warmly, savouring the sight of the young man like he would sweet wine. “And the music during the nights.”

He watched with adoration as the colour flushed onto Siegbert’s cheeks and up to his ears. The boy was so sweetly meek Subaki almost reached out a hand to brush back his hair. There was a part of him that missed a sweet lover. But the thought of Siegbert’s soft golden crown of curls slowly turned into a desire of silver locks and pale skin became tanned where his fingers touched. Brown eyes turned to blue and it was no longer Siegbert he thought of. Subaki kept his hand gripped tightly on the cup.

Siegbert who had only recovered slightly said, “that’s actually my playlist. If you’d like, I could give you the songs.” He raised his brows expectantly.

Subaki knew that of course but he nodded like he had heard something surprising. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll have it for you the next time you come,” said Siegbert.

The conversation drifted to one of academics and Subaki found himself so comforted with the idle chat of a stranger that he almost forgot the reason for which he came here.

A firmly placed hand on Siegbert’s shoulder interrupted them. Niles’ gaze passed by Subaki staring blankly at him from the loveseat. Once again, his footsteps were soundless and his movements that of a shadow.

“Hello Niles,” said Siegbert. He had jumped a little at Niles’ touch. The corners of his lips perked slightly out of embarrassment.

Niles nodded. “Is school going well, Siegbert?” He ignored Subaki blatantly.

“It has been a bit busy but things are well.” And if that could hold an inkling of bragging at even the slightest, Siegbert flushed. “Well, I’ll excuse myself. It was a pleasure seeing you both.” Siegbert tactfully walked behind the counter where a large blond man darted his eyes across the menu. He visibly brightened after seeing Siegbert approach.

Did the boy know he was charming, Subaki thought.

As he had turned to the scene behind the counter, he felt a shift in the cushions as Niles sat beside him on the loveseat. Without facing him, Subaki inhaled the fragrant espresso from where he sat and his back gave in a low shudder.

The silence lasted so long between them that Subaki almost allowed himself to grow comfortable. It was then that Niles spoke. “So when I’m not around, you turn to children?” His voice hinged on something Subaki could not place.

“He is not a child,” Subaki said. He felt nothing for Siegbert other than the simple affection for his music and his gentle demeanour. Did Niles not understand why he showed up here every night?

“They are children,” Niles said and his tone so unlike his usual self that Subaki turned to look at him for the first time. Niles’ jaw set into a line that disarmed him. As quickly as he had seen it, Niles’ expression relaxed and he laughed. “You better not touch him.” He nodded his nose towards Siegbert, taking the order of a customer behind the counter. “He’s already taken and I’m pretty sure the guy could snap you in half.”

And how would you know that? Subaki wanted to ask. Instead, he said, “are you so delusional that you need to feel jealous of me talking to a kid?” He feigned surprise and sat back in the seat. “Or am I just that good in bed?” He set the finished drink in his hand down onto the table.

“Neither,” Niles said.  “But you’ve been getting better.” He paused and made a deliberate motion to study Subaki from head to toe. When his eye landed back on his hair, it lingered there for just a while longer.

And it was that same liberated sense of belonging to Niles that Subaki found himself gravitating towards.

“Shall we?” Niles asked.

\---

They arrived at Niles’ apartment well after the sky had darkened. Subaki removed his shoes, taking a seat upon the couch of Niles’ main room. He leaned his head back against the couch and massaged his temples. It was frighteningly similar to as he did after coming home.

Niles, in his characteristic soundless motion, kept himself in a suspended state of movement in the kitchen. It was from the first night that Subaki realized Niles held a certain affection for food. Not in such a way that demanded the use of the finest ingredients but in their composition, in their warmth, and in a way that did not care for plating but all in heartiness.

The same could be said about Niles as well. Little attention to presentation but capable of flickers of warmth if one were to watch him closely or if they were as perceptive as Subaki was. It showed in his cooking. It showed in his home. The apartment was decorated sparsely, just enough for a person to live in comfortably and other than the photographs framed in dark wood hanging sporadically on the walls, no other personalized objects could be found. Even the magazines that he thumbed through on the coffee table fit the part of a card catalogue.

“Here,” said Niles. Subaki thanked him and shifted his body over so that Niles had more room on the couch. After Niles sat, he wound his arm around Subaki’s shoulder and pressed him into his chest, careful of the drink in his hand. His finger touched him lightly on the nose and Subaki blinked. “It’s hot.”

Subaki inhaled the rich scent of espresso and alcohol deeply and drank. The drink warmed his throat which had grown parched and dry from the cold air. Niles, quietly sipping his own next to him, playfully twirled Subaki’s hair in his fingers.

They had been in bed when he first asked this, both too exhausted to do anything but lie in the covers. Why do you keep your hair so long, Niles had asked, his elbow propping him up. Subaki had turned his head to look at the clock on the nightstand then so he did not see Niles’ face but only felt his fingers comb through his hair and catching at the tangles and grit that had developed from the sweat. He felt no need to answer but allowed the combing to continue. Niles grabbed a fistful of his ponytail and pulled. The action was not so violent that it hurt him but the shock forced him to turn his face in time to see Niles’ face close to his and he was crushed into a kiss that led to another round before he left.

The thought stirred familiar emotions within him. Subaki lifted his head so that his forehead tucked neatly into the crevice of of Niles’ neck and beneath his jaw line. He shut his eyes and felt Niles’ throat move against him as he swallowed.

“Affectionate today, aren’t you?” Niles murmured into his ear.

When Niles whispered, his breath smelled of coffee and liquor.

“Not really,” Subaki answered with a kiss to Niles’ throat.

Niles let out a small musing, delicately toying with the line between laughter and moaning.

Soft kisses began on the ear trickling down to the jaw. He leaned away from him and Subaki began on his neck. Niles closed his eyes savouring the soft wet sounds of Subaki’s lips against his skin.

“Come with me,” Niles said.

Subaki let himself be taken to Niles’ bedroom and thrown upon the bed in a swift motion. He landed, heavily so and pushed himself up so that his body was not quite as submissive. But Niles was near on top of him and with a large hand, spread his legs apart so that his hips opened painfully. He climbed on top of him, inching his body closer to his face until Subaki, who had been resting on his elbows could distance himself no further had closed his eyes and waited to be kissed.

When it came, it was violent, so unlike the kisses that he gave away so kindly earlier. Niles’ mouth enclosed Subaki’s roughly so that he tried to turn his head to escape. At this, Niles shifted his weight and held onto his face. Then the kisses had lost their violence and their breaths became gasps for air and Subaki wrapped an arm around Niles’ neck, clinging to him.

“So eager today,” Niles teased and he flicked his tongue up so a string of saliva broke and fell onto Subaki’s chin.

“I was going to say the same to you,” he answered and Niles licked his chin playfully and began kissing him again.

Subaki flipped a willing Niles over to slide a pressed hand onto him, feeling him grow hard beneath. He stroked roughly through the fabric, finding the button clumsily and undoing the zipper. The growing urgency had him breaking their kiss to go place his mouth where the hardness had peaked between Niles’ legs.

Instantly, he heard the low moan and felt the shallow shudders from Niles’ body. Subaki kept a hand to his balls while his tongue teased him with flicks and slow, caressing on the shaft.

As he felt the strain and the tension build in Niles he felt it in himself, growing so much that he undressed himself without breaking rhythm. Subaki searched blindly for his own growing excitement underneath Niles. His mouth left Niles to suck his own finger and his eyes opened in slits to watch Niles beneath. His tanned skin did little to hide the flush in his cheeks and the knot between his brows.

Subaki sat up in a straddle and ran his wet fingers down to play with himself, bucking his hips and exaggerating his moans. He watched Niles gazing at him, his fingers pressed upon Subaki’s inner thigh and his mouth slightly opened. Subaki brought sticky fingers back to his mouth, tasting himself.

In a moment of complete lewdness and bravery, he took that finger and felt Niles’ entrance and pressed himself inside. He savoured Niles’ surprised expression before once again, wrapping his mouth around him as deeply as he could, until he could feel Niles hitting the back of his throat.

He glanced upward, locking eyes on Niles who then laced his fingers in his hair to push his bangs away from his face. Niles’ other hand, pressed against his forehead and his head fell backward in pleasure, exposing his throat.

“Fuck.”

Subaki sped up his movements, stretching Niles with his finger and bobbing his head while keeping his tongue flat against Niles’ shaft.

“Get up,” said Niles.

Subaki obeyed and Niles stuck two fingers in his mouth which he accepted warmly, tangling them around his tongue.

“Turn around and come here,” Niles said and as Subaki did so, Niles’ hands grabbed around his hips, pulling his rear towards Niles’ face. Subaki continued working Niles while Niles spread his ass apart and stretched him out with his fingers.

He felt the wetness of Niles’ tongue around his entrance, pressing inside. He felt Niles’ fingers spreading his ass apart so his tongue could lick deeper. With what determination he had left, he kept his mouth firmly around Niles' twitching cock between pleasurable moans and gasps of air.

“You’re going to cum soon,” Subaki said. He was close himself.

Niles grunted and lifted his hips, pushing his cock deep into Subaki’s throat.

He groaned and Subaki felt Niles’ fingers leave him when a rush of pleasure hit the back of his throat and he could do nothing but swallow the salty substance.

“Oh fuck, Subaki.”

Subaki turned back around to face Niles, spent after climax.  

With a lover, he would’ve held them and planted sweet kisses on their face after something such as this. He almost did this with Niles but in his head was that firm, unwavering line that stood between them as something that should not be lovers.

Instead, he opened his mouth and let Niles’ pleasure slip out of his mouth and down his chin. He wiped it with his hand and brought it to himself to finish. He leaned over Niles who was still reclining on the bed. And in familiar motions, he finished rather quickly and spilt himself onto Niles’ chest.

“What a great view,” Niles’ voice caused him to open his eyes but he was too exhausted to speak and instead, collapsed beside Niles onto the bed.

“Hey Subaki,” Niles said with a gentle shake to his shoulder. “Do you want to go again?”

“Shut up.”

Niles laughed. “I’m ready and willing if you are.”

Subaki opened his eyes slowly to a smugly smiling Niles, fully erect. He answered after a pause. “I only need a moment.”

Niles laughed. “No wonder you’re always coming over here. Remember, you started it today. Not me.”

“You think I can’t find this with anyone else?” Subaki murmured.

“I’m sure you could but it would never be better.” Niles said just as quietly.

Subaki jolted slightly, feeling a warm finger enter him. It did feel amazing. Somehow this man made him feel everything and only when he really let himself think about it did it bother him that he barely knew him.

Subaki thought of previous lovers and their gentle touches and shy smiles after love making. It would not be this with Niles.

Niles’ finger slipped out from inside of him. Subaki found himself being pulled upward into a kneeling position with Niles pressing his hard cock between his ass cheeks.

Slowly, he moved his hips against Subaki, pressing the tip against his entrance and running the shaft along it. He continued on, each time a little deeper before pulling away. His hands massaged Subaki’s ass, calloused fingers and palms leaving red.

The motions and imagining Niles watching him caused Subaki to be so besides himself with lust and desire he spread his ass apart himself and said, “Well?”

Then at once, Niles pressed into him causing him to grip the sheets and press his cheek into the pillow, muffling the sounds that omitted from his mouth. Through the heavy pressure of Niles moving against him, they found their rhythm, each using the others' body in a selfish desire. Subaki's cock twitched and he felt it rub against his stomach. Niles grabbed his hips pulling him deeper inside of him with each thrust. The pillow did little in muffling their sounds of pleasure. He thought of Niles and his beautiful hands and tasted the coffee and liquor and salt still on his tongue and his breaths quickened.

Niles grabbed him by the hair, turning his face so that their eyes met. “Ahh...there it is…I love making a mess out of that perfect face.” Roughly, Niles slapped his cheek causing Subaki to cry out.

And when Niles moved faster, he let himself be taken away to the place where pain blended with pleasure because he did not think of what this was and how his feelings did not belong to him any longer but were taken by this man who did not love him. And this was enough for him now, to not be loved, because he would convince himself that this was all he wanted too. The truth would not be worth losing Niles over. He would keep it in him forever.

\---

Subaki lay rather pleasantly on the bed and traced fingers over the lines of his stomach, still sticky with sweat and semen. Niles laid next to him with a rather relaxed grin plastered on his face. His heavy chest rose and fell evenly.

“Want anything? Water?” Niles turned to look at him. "Water with lemon?" He raised a judgmental brow.

He scoffed. “I need to leave.”

“Suit yourself,” Niles said shortly. “Be safe out there, sweetheart.”

And the illusion was over. In the moments they were together, he realized he had forgotten this man with the rough demeanor and the callused hands had had many before him and he was probably not the only young man that had been brought back to this place to lay with him until he was bored. He did not want to be another that fell in love with him.

Subaki wanted to hit him. But it was himself that he was most angry at.

Into the cold his face streaked with redness but he bit his lip proudly. In the wind, his heart pounded and his body already feeling the beginnings of the soreness that he would wake to find upon himself.

This must be the last time, he told himself.

\---

In the days that followed, Subaki found himself a little more irritable during the day and a little more lonely during the nights. He distracted himself with his courses and had managed to produce a new set of pictures for his professor and eagerly went to see him during office hours.

Subaki watched as thick fingers carefully held the edges of his images, holding them close then away from his face and finally shaking his head. “It’s not right” he had said. And after asking what he meant, he said something along the lines of they do not feel like you.

With a bitter taste in his mouth, he accepted what was the truth. Subaki had tried portraits of his friends the way he had seen Niles. But they missed the connection to the camera and it was in no way because his friends did not care for him, but when he looked through the lense, he did not see them, but thought of Niles and wished it was Niles staring back at him.

He left the office feeling defeated. Students had entered that balance right before the beginning of finals and at the end of the term where assignments would be coming to completion. It would be his last project as an undergraduate student that would be the one he struggled with most. What a disappointing way to end a degree.

As he walked to the library, amidst the crowd was a familiar blond head bobbing towards him.

“Siegbert!” Subaki called and he was greeted with the look of several bystanders surrounding them.

Subaki met him halfway and greeted the rest of his friends. He only recognized the broad shouldered stocky brown haired boy from the cafe. He was shorter than himself but met his eyes up to him with an easy going smile.

“Subaki, it’s good to see you.” Siegbert said then gestured to the brown haired boy first. “This is Shiro, Ignatius, and Nina.” Ignatius stood almost a head taller than him with long blond hair and Nina, small, bird-like, and braided silver hair.

“Nice to meet all of you, what brings you to campus?”

“We’re doing a tour of the University and our teacher gave us a break after lunch to look around on our own.”

He smiled a little at the subtle difference of the use of teachers and professors. “What a shame, I would have been happy to show you around. I’m graduating this year so I won’t be seeing you.”

“You haven’t been stopping by the cafe lately either. I’ve been waiting to give you that music playlist.” Siegbert reached into his bag and pulled out a CD.

Subaki smiled. A CD in this day and age. How charming.

“Oh so that’s where I remember you from!” Shiro said suddenly. “Siegbert, you’re so close to all the regulars.”

“No, not really…”

“Just me then? Well I'm honoured.” Subaki said lightly.

“What are you talking about? They all love you,” Shiro went on. He wrapped an arm around Siegbert’s shoulders and Siegbert flushed a deep red. _He’s already taken and I’m pretty sure the guy could snap you in half,_ Niles had said.

“He’s right, Siegbert. My dad says that you’re very popular.” Nina said.

“No no, he’s just being nice.” Siegbert was practically crimson.

Subaki laughed. “Don’t be so modest Siegbert.” Children, he thought.

“Not you too, Subaki,” said Siegbert.

He smiled, truly, charmed by their warm hearted friendship. “So, you’re all interested in coming here are you? Our architecture program is great. Any of you interested in that program?”

Shiro shook his head. “Physical education for me.”

“Siegbert?”

“I’m planning on enrolling in the International Relations degree but architectural studies does sound interesting.”

“That sounds right up your alley,” Shiro said, beaming.

“I’ll take you to the arts building, you were on the right track. It’s just past the library,” Subaki said. He found himself quite enjoying their company. Mindless details about school and summer vacation that meant nothing to him. He only offered the occasional comment when asked but enjoyed his time listening to their banter.

“Is that the journalism building?” He heard a voice from behind them. Nina bounded ahead of them, her silver hair bouncing on her shoulders. He thought of how lovely the silver was in the sun.

“Are you interested in journalism, Nina?” Subaki asked.

She nodded enthusiastically. “I love reading and writing. I've been writing my own stories since I was in grade school.”

Subaki paused gazing at the bright blue eyes. He was taken back to the first night at the cafe. Niles had been staring rudely at his work. He had said something but it had felt so long ago that he could not remember. He brushed his hair back. Forget him. It was not love. 

“Nina’s really good at writing,” Shiro said. “Even when we read the same thing, she has a really interesting way of interpreting it.”

Nina beamed at him. It occurred to Subaki that Shiro wasn’t as dull as he first thought.

“Are you interested in photography too?” he probed. His thoughts always turned to Niles when speaking of such thing.

To his surprise, Nina made a face of disgust. “I’m not a fan of photography.”

Siegbert and Shiro laughed. Even Ignatius who had remained mostly quiet broke out into a light chuckle and smiled.

“Am I missing something here?” Subaki asked.

"You're just saying that," Shiro laughed. "It's what old people call 'teen angst'."

"No really, I hate photography," Nina said.

Ignatius said, "Nina, that's not really true."

Her defiant nature and her eyes, sharp and piercing caused Subaki to feel a strange yet familiar twist in his stomach. He breathed deeply to try to subdue the wave of nausea that had graced him.

"I think you'd be a natural at it if you tried, Nina," said Siegbert. 

Nina scrunched her nose and walked briskly away from them. Subaki watched her long silver hair bounce against her shoulders. Her thin frame made her walk look almost elfish, quick feet and light steps that gave the illusion of floating. She was lovely. She was too similar to him. 

 

They are children, Niles had said.

Subaki's legs buckled beneath him. Each of them turned with expression of concern.

"You don't look well, Subaki," said Nina. She went closer to him, put a hand to his shoulder. He looked at her and at the blue in her eyes that was all too familiar to him. 

"Nina," he said. Then with what strength he could gather, pushed out the words he was too afraid to hear the answer to. "Are you Niles' daughter?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been a long time coming, right? I have every intention of finishing this story so please wait (patiently ^.^) for the next chapter. Also, I’ve been experimenting with writing original stories so if you’re interested in reading about OC soft boys falling in love check out my story ‘Where the light passes’ on my page =] I’ve really missed writing - hopefully, I can get back into the swing of things again. Until next time! - r48


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